Report from the road 3: Live from Macau

OK, so where was I?

Last time I wrote was Friday... while I was still in an ethylic coma, Davey left to hit Shenzhen (on the east of GZ, bordering Hong Kong) then take a bus the same day to go to Zhuhai (on the west side of GZ, bordering Macau). I was suppose to go meet him there, but I left Guangzhou a bit too late and underestimated the length of the ride. Davey was already at his friend's place, in the outskirts, and I was stuck downtown, with no buses available. I tried to ask for taxis, but they all gave me ridiculous prices so I was starting to consider my options... Accepting ride offers from the sketchy dudes hanging around the terminal saying "Taxi Taxi!" is a no go, and I don't want to spend 400 on a room in the hotels surrounding the area. I could wander in the small streets until I find a ghetto hotel, but chances are I wouln't be Chinese enough to rent it and also, the streets of Guangdong province are not as safe as those of Henan at night.

Then, I remembered from my time in Harbin that the massage places allow you to stay overnight... Hmmm... After asking, I found out I was right! And DON'T look at me like this you bunch of pervs, it was one of those well-lit places located on a large street, and with windows in the doors of each room. And the girl was fully dressed, with pants, a blouse, and blah blah. So for waaaay less than I would have paid to stay even in a decent mid-range hotel, I got a 2 hour full body massage, some sleep, a long shower, and even breakfast. All that, thanks to my knowledge of the environment and my supreme Chinese speaking skillz!

I called Davey (with the massage place's phone, of course, no way I'm gonna pay) then took a bus to the university where his buddy is staying. The bus ride was more than one hour, and it is then I realized that the taxi drivers I asked the price to the night before were actually right, and not trying to rip me off... I kinda felt bad, as I said some really bad shit to some of them, in English, French or Chinese. So if you are a Zhuhai City cab driver and you read this, I'm sincerely sorry.

There isn't even a superlative word that would describe how much nicer the campus from Ji Lin University is from Cheng Gong College. Large space between buildings, large streets, palm trees... And the MOFACKING SEA just in front! So we spent most of the day just eating, drinking, riding bicycles along the sea shore (3 dudes, 2 bikes), and eating more. Guangdong food is... pretty sub-par compared to the other regional cuisines of China. It's either bland, or way too sweet. Actually, you can compare it to the chinese food you eat in Canada or whatever, since most oversea Chineses are from this part of the country. That should give you a bit of an idear.

So this morning, I said goodbye to my Chinese homies, caught a bus downtown, then went to the customs. Easy as pie, and a few minutes later I was walking the streets of the former Portuguese colony. There are no Portuguese there anymore, and nobody speaks or understands it, but every sign is bilingual. It is quite convenient when looking for a street, as remembering Avenida de Almeida Ribeiro is far easier than 亞美打利庇盧大馬路. Oh, and that leads to my next point: Macau people use traditional characters instead of the simplified ones, and speak goddamn Cantonese. I don't know a single word in Cantonese, so I kinda feel like the crappy tourist who is always asking with a nasal voice "Do you speak Engliiiiiiissssh?". I caught a taxi, the driver didn't know any English except "Okay", and knew just as much Mandarin as I do, and with a huge fuckin Guangdong accent. It was a funny conversation! It reminded me the time when I was sharing a room in Croatia with a 50-year old Bosnian and we spoke German.

Macau, I now nicknamed it Wacau (Wo kao = tabarnak in Chinese) due to the abundant number of times this word came out of my mouth when looking at the price for things. Yep, Macau is expensive for a Chinese on a budget like yours truly (wow, j'viens tu vraiment d'utiliser yours truly dans une phrase moé la, sacrez-moi un coup de sandale que'qu'un). They have their own currency, the Pecketa or whatever, but every damn place also accepts Chinese yuans and Hong Kong dollars, which are all exactly at the same rate! I mean, I paid a pastry with coins from each of the three currencies, I don't know why they even bother... Another weird thing about the "one country two systems" I guess. Food is pretty expensive... the snack food scene sucks, but there are tons of varied restaurants. I had Indian for lunch and Thai for dinner, yeeeaaah it's so cool to be able to finally make a choice between something else than Northern Chinese and Northwestern Chinese.

The weather in Macau... OK, I have never been to a tropical area at this time of the year so I didn't know much, but I expected... you know, a tiny bit of cold at least? Guess again, it is HOT, like, ball-sweating hot. Even at night. Well, maybe not that crazy, but I wouldn't want to come here in summer time for sure. But then, heat means short skirts (nice), which allow to see how crazy anorexic some of these girls are (the opposite of nice... -nice). HEY Xiao Mei, when your knees touch but there's still space between your thighs, maybe it's time to double your portion of rice! I hope this symptom of the Westernization is present in the South only (I haven't seen my students' legs for a damn long time... since Nov. 1st, when they all put on their longjohns).

I've been writing this shit for one hour now, but I can't write anything about Macau without mentioning its finest and most visted attractions... no, it's not the seaside. Not the Portuguese buildings either. The Casinos! From the huge ass that uses as much electricity as Bangladesh, to the sketchy dark alley Russian mob owned, there are dozens of casinos in Macau. Pretty much all of the tourist industry is centered around these cash flow institutions that bring hundreds of laowais and thousands of Hong Kong people everyday to test their chance. I went to play roulette in the Grand Lisboa casino, and over the course of a few small bets, earned 100 HKD. Gambling is awesome!

So that's what's up. Next message, probably live from Singapore.